Surrender is seen as weakness.
In some cases, to surrender outwardly is weakness. But I’m talking about inward surrender, the kind no one sees.
Over 2 years ago I first learned what it was to surrender a feeling. To accept a situation.
To do that gives you power. It gives you options.
To surrender your feelings toward a bad thing does not make you passive towards it. Counterintuitively, it could free you up to act against it (if you choose), only without fear, anger, or neediness muddying your actions.
I once had a flatmate who’s dog was a big problem. I was stewing about it. It was unfair that I had to deal with this angry creature! I felt stiff and anxious, and any action towards the situation brought up a lot of suppressed feelings.
Then I let it go. I surrendered. The anxiety evaporated. That evening I went out on a walk with the dog to bond with him and soften his traumatised heart. I also laid down an ultimatum. Either we see improvement in the dog’s behaviour in a month, or they would need to look for another place.
Surrender made both soft action and firm action easy to take.
Imagine a scenario you don’t want to happen. Start off with something light and shallow. Something you don’t care that much about, but that you still notice creates a little lick of stress when you think about it. Notice how you feel about it, and the opposite way you could feel. Recognise both are valid. Imagine the worst likely scenario and the best. Recognise both as possible, and accept both.
Notice how/if your feelings change. Do you feel freer? More able to take action, rather than just think about the thing?
Surrender takes practice. It’s a practice I must stop neglecting.
The shallow stuff is fun to surrender. The deep stuff is transformative. (I imagine)